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Yes, it’s Monday again, and yes I have plenty to tell you all what I have NOT been up to.

I have definitely NOT let my baby call a Pack ‘N Play in our room his bed for the last 6 months instead of a crib. (His first bed was a proper cradle in our room).  I definitely have NOT procrastinated on getting the crib assembled because all of the bedrooms were NOT in a state such that they would have failed a health and safety inspection.  Not me, I’m a great housekeeper, I stay on top of things, and I have taught my children well in the tidying arena! (Hey, a girl can dream, right?)

I did NOT then, spend a whole day in Colton’s room last Saturday, while Seth was working, cleaning and reorganizing furniture so that we could get the crib put up.  Again, things are so neat and tidy that I barely have to do much to maintain our clean home!  Because none of this happened, I did not have to call Seth at work to inquire as to where I might find an allen wrench (During said call I informed him I DO know what one is – just didn’t know where they were making their home).  And I didn’t promptly go into the garage where he has a BUCKET of tools and other miscellania, find my allen wrench and proceed to assemble a crib, all by myself.  I did NOT have any problems following instructions and was quite smug and pleased with myself when it was all put together.  But then I did NOT notice a piece that was still out and realize I’d forgotten to put it in, oh, all the way back in STEP 2!!!  *sigh*  Right about then Seth got home (telling you, I did NOT spend ALL day in there!) and got that odd piece in and went to tighten my allen wrench screws.  I did NOT hand him the TENT STAKE I’d used all along as an allen wrench, and we did not laugh at ALL about my sleep-deprivation induced stupidity.  Seth did NOT remind me, “I know what an allen wrench is, I just need to know where they are!”  Oy vey.  Always an adventure.

In other life events, Kelsey is selling Girl Scout Cookies (and will be thru the end of February so if you want some, e-mail me!).  Last Monday we went around the neighborhood and sold some cookies to the folks living in the townhomes.  When we returned she wanted to call all of her relatives and sell over the phone.  When we got to her Uncle Jared’s phone number, I did NOT tell her it was “303- 619-xxxx” instead of “303-617-xxxx.”  Thus she did not speak to a TOTAL STRANGER.  So I did NOT have the following conversation when she handed me the phone while I was cooking dinner that night:

“Hi!”

“Hi, this is Raleigh.”

“What?  Is Jared not there?  Are you a friend?”

“Uh, no – your daughter just called me, Raleigh, and wanted to sell me some cookies.”

:lightbulb:

“Oh, no!  I told her 619, and it should have been 617!  Oh, I’m so sorry, she meant to call her Uncle Jared!”

“Well, I’m a businessman and I thought she did a great job for a cold call – so I’d still like to purchase a box from her.”

And I did NOT proceed to collect his mailing information so that we could then ship his box of cookies when we got them in.

Finally, the other night we did NOT start baths so late that Kelsey had to be in brushing her teeth while the boys bathed. (Kelsey and Colton are getting to that age where they really ought to give each other privacy when nude now).  Colton was kicking water with his legs to splash Chritopher a bit (my shirt sleeves as well, I might add), and I did Not giggle when Kelsey glanced over and said, “Your penis looks like a bobble-head when you do that!”  That would be immature and only serve to encourage future sayings of this funny little phrase.  No, I remained calm and without response, so really I had NO idea why Colton proceeded to chant over and over that night “I have a bobble-head penis!”  And I definitely did not have to suppress more laughs again while typing that story out.  Because I’m more grown up than that.

(I obviously did NOT start this on Monday and leave it in my drafts folder for days afterward!)

It’s been awhile since I played along with Not Me Monday, but this week there were a fair amount of things that dealt a blow of conviction to my gut.  And a few funnies.  Perfect mix for Not Me Monday, eh?  So without further ado….

Last week I definitely did not get so frustrated at my dishwasher (which has suddenly decided to rinse with water rife with all that chopped up bits of food it creates and therefore deposit a gritty, albeit[food] organic, silt-like substance on all my glassware) that I proceeded to handyman it myself.  I certainly did not unscrew the lower rinse blade and pull out the perceived culprit, what appeared to have once been a cheesestick wrapper (thanks kids!) only to put it back together somewhat askew.  Because none of this happened, there was not a huge increase in the volume of the dishwasher  while running.  I mean, this never happened because I would never, ever, attempt anything mechanical on my own, right?  And then, I did not get freaked out by this hypothetical noise to the point that when Seth arrived home I surely didn’t forget to greet him with words other than, “I think there is something really wrong with the dishwasher.”  Because I appreciate my husband as more than the appliance fixer!  So, because I did NOT say that in a huff of frustration as Seth came thru the door, I don’t know why he proceeded to say, “Well the bushing isn’t on right,” unscrew it and adjust only to rescrew it in.  Too tightly, thus REALLY breaking the dishwasher as the part in qestion snapped in two.  :sigh:

($5 bought a new part and it has since been reinstalled…the food grit is still, however, occurring.  I am NOT frustrated wit this at all!)

On Friday, I did NOT impulsively jump on the facebook bandwagon and post my bra color as a status update without thinking it thru.  Because I think more about those sorts of things, after all, right?  Whoopsies.

Sunday morning after Christopher had the nastiest diaper known to moms (thank you spinach…I feel sorry for Popeye’s mama now!), I did not contemplate using (and subsequently disposing of) a spatula to  scoop the poop into the toilet because it was sooooo copious!  (we’re cloth diapering for all you disposable users going, ‘toilet? huh?’) Well, ok, maybe I did think that, but I certainly did not just toss the insert into the tub as I harriedly swished the nastiness in the toilet, because that would be lazy!  And I didn’t later toss it in the bathroom sink when I needed to shower, because the diaper pail is Just.Right.THERE.Outside.The.Door!  And I definitely didn’t put my finger in residual pooh when I finally went to put it in the pail, because I remember these things and handle all waste gingerly!  :shudders:

I have not washed and rewashed the same load in my washer 3 4 times this week.  That would be wasteful.

There are more things I have Not done, but it would take me another week to write them all out – enjoy!

I'm a 30-something with a bend toward the spunky and unconventional. I like to accent big words and academics with slang and pop culture - makes me a little more well-rounded. My husband and I follow Christ and am training up my 3 precious kiddos to do the same. This means that I'm human and I fail - a LOT, but there is beauty in sharing that with others. Last, but not least, in case you haven't noticed, I'm prone to rambling. It may seem unrelated to you but the little "tangents" I go on are all interconnected in my mind!

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