Snippets…

• This week was the Busiest.  Week.  EVAH!  We had something going EVERY day (largely dominated by the girl scouts and cub scouts with a smidge of school music program thrown in for good measure – ahh, the schedule strains joys of being parents to schoolagers!) and by today after church, Seth and I were ZONKED out.  God granted us one of His oh so tender mercies and we were blessed with a Sunday Nap this afternoon – which has not happened in a LONG time.  (Note: Sunday Nap is not the same as the also popular, air quoted “Sunday Nap.” :giggle:  This was pure, unadulterated SLEEP.)
• Re: the bridesmaid dress, we had some drama….you see, David’s Bridal told us they could get me any of the dresses I liked in the peridot color of my sisters choosing, IN 12 WEEKS!  AAcck – people the wedding is one month from today! So my sister did some online searching and had a little wedding miracle.  See, she found on craigslist, the boatneck dress, in peridot plus a white peakaboo skirt and white sash, in my size, in the same state as she lives in!  For a reasonable price, too.  So that is decided.
• I have a million, jillion things I wished I could have gotten written this week, but see above reference to busiest week ever, add one cranky lil guy who is currently cutting 4 horrible teeth (that are taking their sweet time torturing my sweet baby as well as the rest of casa del Meyer) and well I haven’t gotten much of anything accomplished this week given I have been a sleep-deprived zombie in harried deadline mode.
• Well, that’s not entirely true as I did stick to my running training and I did totally run my heart out at the Sweetheart Classic yesterday.  4 Miles, in 51 minutes and change, which is none too shabby given a few things: 1.) I ran my first 5k in October in 43 mins 10 secs 2.) this course was much hillier and 3.) a good half or more of the race was in a very strong headwind (which coincided with the inclines – oof!) – so I did accomplish something pretty big, if you factor that baby in!  God is so good, and I am continually amazed at the ways in which He meets me when I’m running.  Bolder Boulder is looking quite feasible now – bring it on!
• We got our federal return on Friday and I promptly began paying off medical bills.  Got some big monkeys off the back with that and I am so grateful to have our heads above water again.

Hoping to pound the keys with more meaningful words this week – intention and actuality often differ – but for now I’m gonna go to sleep since the tortured little soul baby is asleep.

Peace!

So Thankful

I’m so glad that yesterday is over and that Scripture tells us God’s mercies are new every morning.

Yesterday was an insane day – I was jokingly terming it “Woeful Wednesday” in my head.  Yes, it was.  That. Bad.

I’d tell you all about it (and started to, actually) but it is a really long whine, and really don’t we all get enough whining every day?

Suffice to say that I had bratty kids, went grocery shopping because our pantry was BARE, left my wallet at the store but didn’t realize this until I’d pulled into a gas station because my low-fuel light was on, left to go get my wallet, and ran out of gas at a major intersection in rush-hour traffic.

Just one question?  When did my life become a re-run of I Love Lucy?  I mean seriously, between the stuff I’ve documented on NMM and this, I feel like I’m one comical scene away from being right there with Lucy and Ethel, including the dramatic Whaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh at the end of the day, lol.

So here’s to humor and a great NEW day.  I’m off to drink a pot of decaf coffee and get my laundry going.

Not Me Monday 1-25-10

Yes, it’s Monday again, and yes I have plenty to tell you all what I have NOT been up to.

I have definitely NOT let my baby call a Pack ‘N Play in our room his bed for the last 6 months instead of a crib. (His first bed was a proper cradle in our room).  I definitely have NOT procrastinated on getting the crib assembled because all of the bedrooms were NOT in a state such that they would have failed a health and safety inspection.  Not me, I’m a great housekeeper, I stay on top of things, and I have taught my children well in the tidying arena! (Hey, a girl can dream, right?)

I did NOT then, spend a whole day in Colton’s room last Saturday, while Seth was working, cleaning and reorganizing furniture so that we could get the crib put up.  Again, things are so neat and tidy that I barely have to do much to maintain our clean home!  Because none of this happened, I did not have to call Seth at work to inquire as to where I might find an allen wrench (During said call I informed him I DO know what one is – just didn’t know where they were making their home).  And I didn’t promptly go into the garage where he has a BUCKET of tools and other miscellania, find my allen wrench and proceed to assemble a crib, all by myself.  I did NOT have any problems following instructions and was quite smug and pleased with myself when it was all put together.  But then I did NOT notice a piece that was still out and realize I’d forgotten to put it in, oh, all the way back in STEP 2!!!  *sigh*  Right about then Seth got home (telling you, I did NOT spend ALL day in there!) and got that odd piece in and went to tighten my allen wrench screws.  I did NOT hand him the TENT STAKE I’d used all along as an allen wrench, and we did not laugh at ALL about my sleep-deprivation induced stupidity.  Seth did NOT remind me, “I know what an allen wrench is, I just need to know where they are!”  Oy vey.  Always an adventure.

In other life events, Kelsey is selling Girl Scout Cookies (and will be thru the end of February so if you want some, e-mail me!).  Last Monday we went around the neighborhood and sold some cookies to the folks living in the townhomes.  When we returned she wanted to call all of her relatives and sell over the phone.  When we got to her Uncle Jared’s phone number, I did NOT tell her it was “303- 619-xxxx” instead of “303-617-xxxx.”  Thus she did not speak to a TOTAL STRANGER.  So I did NOT have the following conversation when she handed me the phone while I was cooking dinner that night:

“Hi!”

“Hi, this is Raleigh.”

“What?  Is Jared not there?  Are you a friend?”

“Uh, no – your daughter just called me, Raleigh, and wanted to sell me some cookies.”

:lightbulb:

“Oh, no!  I told her 619, and it should have been 617!  Oh, I’m so sorry, she meant to call her Uncle Jared!”

“Well, I’m a businessman and I thought she did a great job for a cold call – so I’d still like to purchase a box from her.”

And I did NOT proceed to collect his mailing information so that we could then ship his box of cookies when we got them in.

Finally, the other night we did NOT start baths so late that Kelsey had to be in brushing her teeth while the boys bathed. (Kelsey and Colton are getting to that age where they really ought to give each other privacy when nude now).  Colton was kicking water with his legs to splash Chritopher a bit (my shirt sleeves as well, I might add), and I did Not giggle when Kelsey glanced over and said, “Your penis looks like a bobble-head when you do that!”  That would be immature and only serve to encourage future sayings of this funny little phrase.  No, I remained calm and without response, so really I had NO idea why Colton proceeded to chant over and over that night “I have a bobble-head penis!”  And I definitely did not have to suppress more laughs again while typing that story out.  Because I’m more grown up than that.

Returned: Tomorrow’s Troubles

Suffice to say that my protected post was re: a completely hypothetical scenario wherein I would be offered a job that was once [possibly still may yet be] on a list under the header of  “Dream Jobs.”

That post was highly impulsive and very much me thinking, not even thinking per se – more like conjecturing –  out loud, given a recent turn of events.

I have NOT been offered a job.

The necessary events for me to be offered said hypothetical job have NOT yet even occurred, nor is it for sure that they would – but there is potential.

So you see, just me being wildly imaginative – and given this part of my post:

So – setting the stage…..

#1.) I shocked myself and everyone around me when I gave up put on hold my career aspirations to have a 3rd child and stay at home with him and be more present with my school-agers.  It’s not been easy, but since when is sacrificing one’s self for the well-being of others, namely their loved ones, an EASY thing?  I mean if it were so easy, we’d have more intact families, less greed, a kinder – more courteous society, etc, etc, right?  Anyway, again, it has been the kind of hard that makes me feel as if each day I’ve run a mental marathon, given my bend toward validation, ambition, and accomplishment.  Despite the inner turmoil of my constant shadow-boxing, there have been significant rewards.  I’m watching Kelsey and Colton not only grow, but THRIVE.  I get to see every little new thing (including Christopher’s first time at clapping a couple of weeks ago – so sweet!) that my baby is doing and not hear about it second hand.  Most of all, I feel as if Seth and I have really grown together as a couple.  I’ve felt God sending reinforcement to me every time I get weak and doubtful.  Because there are those times.  Especially when the money runs out – which it has done several times since we had a little monkey wrench thrown in for good measure with me getting gravely sick, sans insurance, last spring.  Time after time I sit and look at the bills and say, “We have more expenses than income – this is NOT working,” and then an unexpected bonus comes at Seth’s work (or a loan that we’ve taken out, or me selling my maternity clothes, or etc) and we struggle to claw ourselves back up to heads [barely] above water.  Right now that magic money that will catch us back up is our tax refund, so I vigilantly watch the mailbox for the last of the necessary tax documents to file our return.  Again, despite the stress of all this, Seth and I remain close and are somehow (seriously, it is a mystery to me!) ok with each other and not mad or resentful toward the other for our current financial state. God is really blessing us in this area!   But the checkbook looks bleak right now, to the point of me wondering about getting an overnight position somewhere to bring in some extra cash and yet not compromise the good thing we’ve got going at home.

Given that part, let’s just say that I was stressed about finances right before this glimmer of probability even entered my mind – thus putting me in a suggestive state of mind re: the whole return to work idea.

Here’s the thing – I don’t really want to.  There, I said it.  I, a former Ms. Ain’t No Man Gonna Keep ME Down Ain’t No Kids Gonna Keep Me From Being Successful brand of feminist, have (despite some struggle with that former mindset + financial hardship + some strong-willed children) actually grown to love this SAHM gig.  The duties are not so great sometimes, but the pay – seeing my kids THRIVE, having the energy and time to spend a whole day baking for a Girl Scout activity on a moment’s notice (a whole other post of its own merit), reaching a new level of spiritual and marital fulfillment, etc., etc. – yeah, the pay is phenomenal.

After I wrote that post and actually thought more I realized, Oh yeah, summer daycare x 3 = no M-F 9-5 job will pay enough! Duh.  And that’s just a starting point of why it wouldn’t actually work for me to go back to a day-job (FT or even PT).  For now, at least.  Not to mention the loss of all those other things I mentioned above (so many intangibles are wrapped up in the etc., etc., folks!) In a few years when Christopher is school-aged, it may make sense to reevaluate.

So…I spent a heck of a lot of time worrying about something that isn’t even yet a reality (typical of me), sucked some of you all into it with me, and it was all completely needless, lol.  I’m reminded of Matthew 6: 25-34 (Seriously I should tattoo this one on the back of my eyelids, I forget it all too easily), particularly verses 27 and 34 [emphases mine]:

²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[a]?

….

³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

So….that’s all on that for now.  I’m done borrowing tomorrow’s troubles – they are now returned to the worry library for other doubters to check out.

Ringing In Twenty-Ten

Twelve years ago tonight I said yes to Seth, to our lives together.

Sometimes, on nights like last Friday/Saturday, I get all frustrated and think, “This is not the life I envisioned then.”

And it’s not.

At all.

But that’s not such a bad thing, ya know?

I had no idea how full my heart could get when I’d hear my six-year old son singing to his baby brother a made up lullaby about how much he loved his sweet baby brother.

I had no idea that I could love harder, faster andso fiercely over time than I did at 18, but I can, and that is a beautiful thing.

I had no idea that to grow we often must break first, and that these broken pieces can be fashioned into a new you that makes a devastatingly beautiful mosaic.

I know now that my mosaic is still being patterned and fashioned…. I’m finding theat letting go is the greatest thing we can do for ourselves, especially when we remind ourselves that we have chosen to let it go, meaning things are not going to turn out as we may have hoped or previously planned for.

My resolution is to more consciously let go of the things that I want to have my own control over and hand them to my God.

Tonight is a family night, watching movies, eating a good dinner in, and getting up in the morning to snowshoe (which we’re hoping to make our NYD tradition now that we all have snowshoes!  Well…Christopher has a backpack to ride in).

Be Blessed.

For those who didn’t get a card from us…

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2009 was a wild and crazy year, best summed up by Kutless’ song “What Faith Can Do:”

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think its more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You do have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That’s what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

My illness threw us for a loop this spring, but faith in God’s promises have gotten us through, per the letter.

May you all be blessed with such faith, hope and love this Christmas and for 2010!