Ah, pregnancy dreams…they’re so…….

  • Vivid
  • Memorable
  • Wacky as hell
  • Pleasurable (:wink wink, nod nod:)
  • Terrifying

And on down the list we could go.

Some people say the dreams associated with pregnancy are due to hormonal shifts, while others insist it is because of more interruptions in REM sleep (nighttime potty breaks, waking up with hip pain and the need to flop over to the other side, and the like), and still others insist that these dreams are expressions of the mixed emotions a pregnancy can create.

I’ve had a bunch of dreams this pregnancy, but three in particular stand out.

Every Mother’s Worst Nightmare

It’s been awhile since this one ran – and the details are foggier than ever now – but in a nutshell, we’d been kidnapped as a family and our abductor was horribly violent, in the worst kind of ways.

Thankfully he was not putting LMNOB and Punkinhead through his tortures – but somewhere along the way it became clear that he wanted us to murder our own son. I pleaded with him to take my life instead, that if he was so sick as to want one of us to do it that Charlie Brown could kill me. To no avail.

I’ll spare you the remaining details. They were awful and I can still recall that part of the dream as if it were yesterday. Suffice to say that I woke sobbing and screaming from that one. And when I realized it was “just a dream,” I ran first thing to Punkinhead’s bed and just sat there stroking him as he slept, telling him how much I loved him.

Ugh…..now there are two funny ones….

One Stop Shopping

This one is just so kooky to me. You know how when you’re dreaming and something is this, but it’s also that and this too? Yeah, it was one of those dreams.

I had a dentist appointment and upon arriving at my normal dentist’s office, I soon discovered that the dentist was also now an Asian nail salon. Because they just pair together so naturally, right?

So anyways, a Vietnamese nail tech/dentist leads me to the exam chair and proceeds to tell me they are now doing routine ultrasounds with all expecting dental patients – again, it made COMPLETE sense to me in my dream, but after the fact??? WTH?

He begins the ultrasound and I tell him, “I DON’T want to know the gender because my husband and I are going to the OB/GYN ultrasound next week and we’re finding out together then.” He says ok, does the exam, does the cleaning.

As I’m leaving, the nail tech/dentist says, “You baby girl be beautimous like her mama! Bye now.”

I was left saying, “I DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW!!!” and then debated as to whether to tell Charlie Brown or pretend like I didn’t already know at the u/s we’d go to together.

Infant Style

This one is based on a true story, lol. Apparently a particular detail from my day stuck out at me and my psyche decided to make a whole dream centering on it.

Prelude: Earlier in the day The Boss and I attended a data release meeting re: homelessness in the highschools of our district. The man who sat directly in front of me was a principal at one of the highschools. He had weird hair – with a wiry texture that one could expect from a crack whore who’d fried her hair one too many times, and color that can only be described as harvest ORANGE. But the worst part was that he had a large comb-over; rather, and in fact exacerbating this fashion faux pas, it was a comb-up. The hair well below his crown (in line with his ears!) was combed up and over his crown to cover his bald head. I chuckled inwardly and wondered how anyone could even attempt to pull that off, let alone the principal of a highschool! I mean, it was straight out of a bad teen movie!

So the dream….I was in the hospital, had had the baby and it was a boy. With red hair similar to the shade of Punkinhead’s. But, it was patchy and predominantly located on the back of his head.

So what did the nurses do?

You guessed it – my infant had a comb-over and was doomed to geekdom from birth. I gave the nurses what for for this and reamed them about not even giving the poor child a chance at social acceptance.

I woke up and had a good laugh at that one.

What’s the wackiest dream (pregnancy or no) that you ever had?

© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

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