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I need your help! (This is a repeat of my facebook note if you’re on there, I apologize for the redundancy)
As you all know, I recently signed on to become a lia sophia advisor.
One of the first goals to meet as an advisor is your Excellent Beginnings goal: hold 3 parties and sell $1,500 of jewelry within your first 5 weeks as an advisor. If I meet this goal, then not only do I get my share of the profits off of all sales, but lia sophia will award me $200 in jewelry to add to my display stock for parties.
My starter party got me 1 party and over $600 toward meeting this goal. It seemed like I was off to a good start when one of my colleagues offered to host a party, then another, and then my mom! This would be easier than I thought.
Except the first party got cancelled, the next party is fizzling out as a catalog party, and my mom’s catalog party is not faring so well either.
Now I’m on deadline to meet my goal (Dec. 12th) and the only way for me to meet the goal is to get plenty of outside orders.
That’s where you come in!
I know you gals love to look good – But, I also know that bargain shopping is your modus operandi!
And the December Special is a steal: Buy 2 items at regular price and get up to 4 items at half-price! But, that’s not all – your most expensive items get the discount! Also, if you refer a friend to me and they mention it when placing an order, I will grant you $10 off your order!
Please stop by my website, browse the catalog by clicking the “Our Jewelry” and either use the “Contact Me” tab or e-mail me at hthrmyr@yahoo.com to make your purchase!
Thank you so much for your support of my new business with lia sophia – you’ll fall in love with the jewelry, I just know it!
xoxo
© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved
Sort of….
You see, this is my 666th blog post (oooh, spooky, evil number, I know!) so I thought it would be kind of cute to mimic my favorite children’s book since there really is nothing to be scared of, right?
Right?
Oh, wait, there is something to be scared of……
This weekend was sensory overload……
For…..
…….
………
ME!
My in-laws were up for a four-day weekend, and I love them. Love them!
In small quantities. I’ve come to learn that 3 days is my max, but since we were together for 4……
Well, I am not a nice person and at best look like the worst pregnant mama ever.
Or maybe I am being too harsh on myself – whaddyou think…..
First… Thursday evening – ok, I had to work late for a monthly meeting. My house was mostly clean.
(I left the floors because my in-laws have 2 dogs that they bring with them and I knew if I cleaned the floors on Wednesday, they would just need done again for my Friday night jewelry party)
Charlie Brown and his dad were gone, as MIL bought them Av’s tickets for their upcoming [November] birthdays.
Friday – I had to work, Charlie Brown took the day off since the kids were off and his folks were here, assuring me that he and his parents would help clean up for the lia sophia party I was hosting that night.
Got home early and they hadn’t been home all day. Not only did I have some things of ours to clean up in preparation, but the inlaws’ stuff was all over and needed put up. Floors needed cleaned. I would have been hot not-pregnant, but being pregnant, I was pissed.
I started making the refreshments and doing what I could when everybody came in. They all pitched in [GREAT] but it still completely frazzled me as we were in a last-minute cleaning spree [NOT SO GREAT]. I’d wanted to RELAX y’all!
Everything was done* on time and the party was great fun, thanks to 1.) gorgeous, affordable jewelry, 2.) some homemade spinach artichoke dip with bread and various veggies, 3.) lemon dip with strawberries, and 4.) Nana’s sugar cookies**.
* and by done I really mean, a clusterf*&k of crap got shoved into my bedroom with the doors shut
** I’m telling you, I DO love my MIL – I just feel so inferior around her because she’s never taken antidepressants, and she’s so domestic and crafty, and because she “just” did abc when her kids xyz’d. We look somewhat alike and I tell Charlie Brown all the time that if he’d wanted to marry his mother he must be sorely disappointed. :sigh:
Saturday….
This was the Big Get Together of the weekend.
Our niece 3M turned 10 on Friday and we had all planned to get together on Saturday because my SIL’s family was staying at their house in Aurora.
We’d decided to meet in the middle and check out the family-friendly adventures that Miller Farms had to offer us. We planned a picnic lunch and had been told that BIL was treating us to dinner at their home afterwards. Since we wouldn’t be back until evening, we left my inlaws’ airbed out in the living room. Remember this…
We had a GREAT time at Miller Farms. We all got to go out into the fields and each got to pick a bag of the following:
-Indian Corn – more for decorative purposes than for edible ones
-Onions – while many of them had to be picked through since they’d been exposed to freezes, a number of them were still in great shape – and these suckers were HUGE too!
-Carrots – again, you had to dig for ones that were still deep in the ground and not rotten, but we got a TON
-Potatoes – they had a tiller go through and dig them up for each group and then everyone bagged their loot
-Beets – not my favorite, but I plan on using them as stamps for the kids one afternoon, more than for food! I do like pickled beets but one can only eat so many.
And we each got to pick a pumpkin out of their pumpkin patch. We were LOADED in fresh produce.
My littlest niece, Double A, is 2 and she got antsy in the middle of the crop pickin’ – which was more stressful for my BIL and his wife than it was for any of us. Otherwise it was a grand time. We also did a corn maze, rode pedal tracters, and Charlie Brown bought me a 20 minute massage at a merchant booth – which was heaven and ended up being 30 minutes actually. :contented sigh:
At the end of our Miller Farms adventure – it was announced that we were all going back to MY house, not BIL’s house. And all the crap was still out! Minor heart palpitations at that thought, but eh, life goes on.
Get home, order pizzas to take and bake. I end up waiting on everyone, hand and foot, which my MIL said I “didn’t have to do,” but since no one else was taking the damned initiative who was REALLY going to do it?
The worst part was when 3M made it known that she had been supposed to have gone to her bff’s house in Aurora after we’d been finished with our family party. This was now Not Going to Happen. And she displayed her [rightfully so, imho] tween angst about it. I sympathized with her internally, noting that we weren’t all supposed to be here if I’d had anything to do with it too.
By the time they left and we got the kids bathed for church in the morning – it was an incredibly long day with out an ounce of rest for the pregnant, weary, pitiful woman that gazed back at me from the mirror that night.
Sunday….
Church – getting ready went off without a hitch, although the morning did arrive too damned early.
Church itself was interesting as the octogenarian who led the song service picked only obscure and ancient hymns that no one knew, which resulted in his bellowing vibrato solos. I am one who preaches that we don’t attend church to be entertained and serve ourselves; rather that we go to church to worship and serve God. However, this particular morning my own admonitions were difficult to swallow.
I’d told my in-laws that I had a baby shower to prepare punch for and attend that afternoon. I’d planned on making the punch at home after church and then leave for the shower. Which was no big deal.
Except….we HAD to go to the BlackEyed Pea for lunch. At least where we live, the BlackEyed Pea is frequented largely by seniors after church on Sundays. Which means the table turnover is V.E.R.Y. S.L.O.W. at best. We left the restaurant at 1:36. The shower started at 2:00.
It became very painfully apparent to me that we would be LATE. And then when I discovered that I had filled a 2.5 gallon jug like it was a 2 gallon jug (i.e. with too much water), I went completely apeshit, freaking out that Charlie Brown hadn’t told me it was a 2.5 gallon jug and that we were going to be late, and ohshitohshitohshit! In front of my inlaws mind you. I’m crying and screaming and cannot escape the frustrations that keep pummeling me.
I left, was 1/2 an hour late -felt terrible – but everyone assured me it was fine and the punch was a hit.
The rest of Sunday was ok, except for bedtime. Which was expected.
Today….
LMNOB had one of THOSE mornings. I’m frustrated. There is yelling and gnashing of teeth.
MIL comes up and tells LMNOB, “You know, 3M gets herself up and dressed and makes her own breakfast and fixes her hair and then walks to school all by herself…”
Which struck me about like it did LMNOB: Well, whoopdie freaking do for HER.
Instead, I gritted my teeth and we got through it. Backpack was missing and then so was jacket. And the bus was missed and then I found said backpack and jacket, and took them to school in the car – while bidding my inlaws adieu.
Work was ok….until about 4:18 when my phone rang and it was a neighbor saying the kids were with her; their babysitter hadn’t showed up.
Call babysitter – no answer.
Call babysitter’s mom and start to leave a frantic message when babysitter’s mom picks up. Oh, no she said – babysitter had asked her mom to pick the kids up today as she had a conflict arise and their clock had defaulted to the old end of daylight savings time setting and it read 3:20 instead of 4:20. She was so sorry.
Yeah, me too. I’d already done the mom-obligated “what ifs,” and that was NOT pretty.
So I’m emotional and the Boss had overheard. I share with her the story and she empathizes. She offers to help push the jobshare earlier and I’m honored by that but feel badly that I’m burdening her with that. I say it is no wonder to me that affordable quality child care is a number one priority for a local poverty initiative; I’ve had a hell of a year with childcare and I CAN pay for good care. She says no kidding and asks if I’ve got the baby on a waitlist yet.
:GULP:
I’m not going to lie – but I hadn’t quite wanted to discuss this yet.
And it just blurted out, “Well, no, I actually don’t think I’m coming back after the baby is born.”
OH CRAP!
She took it ok, but yikes! I had not wanted to let that cat out of the bag yet – I’m hormonal and freaked because my babies had been standing at the bus stop for who knows how long and who knows who could have been around, and….
Yeah, it probably couldn’t NOT have come out with that mindset. But still….
So I’ve been bawling all night and am the red-eyed monster at the end of this post.
Charlie Brown is singing to me as I type, “There’s a light and the end of this tunnel…” as sung by Third Day.
I sure hope so. God, please carry me through this.
© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved
This has become an issue for me here at the blog as well as while at work.
Apparently, taking leave without pay when one has to care for her sick child and/or attend her prenatal appointments and has already used her medical leave (used for sicknesses and during times when she took her daughter to OT) and vacation time can cause a supervisor to get up in arms.
Any and all time off is now required to be requested in writing and is subject to approval, with the exception of things covered by FMLA – which equates to my prenatal care and OT appointments for LMNOB.
Also, because I’ve had a sick kid and some childcare issues of late, I faced the dreaded “Are you still committed to this job” question.
Truthfully? Not really, because each time I’m treated like an errant child makes me less inclined to perform well.
Am I obligated to the job? Yeah – a thing called health insurance keeps me here.
© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved
Yesterday, I was in attendance at a press conference, as a member of the UniverCity Connections; Homelessness Initiative Task Group. (Two questions: 1 – why do these things always have to be such a long name, and 2 – why are people so freakin’ ignorant in newspaper commentaries? Not one of the anti-homeless plan commenters have a clue about how much money and the RESULTING COST SAVINGS this plan is going to incur – I could go on for DAYS, MONTHS even educating y’all on this but I’ll spare you)
A rather prominent wheeler and dealer in the group pulled me aside and asked me if I ever did consulting work.
I reminded him that I was a consultant to the County for the Homeless Count – and that I did indeed plan on working in the consulting/freelancing capacity in the future. “Why?” I asked him.
“Well,” as he swooped his hands in a demonstrative gesture, “This is wrapping up and we’ll be beginning phase 2 soon. It’s going to be a lot of meetings, a lot of coordination, and who better to tackle such a task with finesse?”
I wanted to die inside, a little. It was JUST the opportunity that I’ve dreamed of.
And I had to say no.
On top of the fact that I’m wanting to downsize things, and this would just add to the workload, the timing is ALL wrong. This is not going to happen overnight, folks, and I don’t think that policy implementation phases take maternity leaves.
I was reminded of something my dear Christian sister had recently said to me in response to my confession that my heart had changed about staying home and planning for this baby (emphasis mine):
I think that’s great and I think God will honor any steps of faith you and Charlie Brown take in that direction. He asks for a lot, sometimes, though (consider the rich young ruler…). He wants our all. I think you guys are up to that task, but be prepared to do some ‘dying’, and to be refined even more by fire. God disciplines those he loves! So brace yourselves and be united and strong in the Lord.
I’m always so fuzzy on the line between what is discipline from God – i.e. requires me dying to myself – and what is temptation from the Evil One – distracting me and tempting me to stoke the idols in my heart – but nevertheless, I can say that I do not regret saying no, and I do not regret taking this leap of faith. This is a beautiful place to be!
I know too well the inner workings of some of the parties at play in this thing, and while everyone is after ends that are noble and humane, the means of some of the players do not sit well with me. Not to mention the inevitable outcry by the more ignorant folks in our public (evidenced in the newspaper commentary) – and the bottom line is this: I don’t have to get into all of that yuck by having said no. I can pray for them to have guidance in their next steps and leave it at the Cross.
My God wants my all, and He’s directing my energies into my family for this next season in my life. I need to honor that, not fight it, and I know that He will bless those attempts with more than I can comprehend.
© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved
Ok, so last night I was blathering on and on all night long about this e-mail that The Boss had sent me about how I now needed to clear out of office time ahead of schedule with her. This is new….and coming right after I was sick last week and having no more sick leave, had offered to do some work from home. I understand that working from home is not our norm; but given the circumstances it was the best I could do!
I read: I don’t trust you and I need more control. Also: My life is stressful right now so you are going to pay….
It made me feel badly. I felt like I’d let her down and that because I wasn’t perfect she was greatly disappointed.
So I did what any people pleasing woman who also happens to be newly pregnant does: CRIED my heart out.
Charlie Brown, upon reading it, said, “Uhm, I don’t get it….it seems innocent enough.”
This morning, we had our first staff meeting in about a month (they used to be weekly occurrences).
After we got our “business” done, she asked me, “Well, how are you feeling about things in the office right now?”
“Uhhhh, well, honestly, since the United Way job and all of that I have been really struggling with finding the right balance between home and work, but I’m feeling better about it. Last week was just hard because I was sick and out of leave time and had just drained my vacation time – so I was trying to do the best I could.”
“Yeah…I was thinking this morning, what would you think about splitting your job and sharing it with someone?”
While I sat there, slack-jawed and mentally sending notes to God, to whom I’d prayed this morning about this very balance, she elaborated, telling me that she knew I had a lot of different circumstances than her, with LMNOB’s sensory therapies, the kids being younger and having daycare woes of late, me being in school, etc., and that my commitment level had been lower of late, but that she very much values the work that I do and wanted to keep it at a quality level.
She proposed that perhaps the person sharing with me could attend all of the evening meetings and grant presentations while I maintained the logistics and planning role for daytime hours at the office. She also told me that she had to do all the calc’s, i.e. workers comp would be higher b/c it is two people rather than one, etc., in her budget before taking it to her boss, but that she thought it could work. After all, the history of this office has been a job-sharing history – she recounted how when she first started here 15 yrs ago she job-shared her current position with another woman in what was then a one-position office. 10 years ago my position was added, at PT, where my successor worked 2 PT positions for the City. Then there was me.
Incredulous, I told her, “You know – when I had my first ‘I can’t do this moment’ in June, before the UW position came open, I briefly thought about splitting my job, but I wasn’t sure if you’d be open to it. So many details to work out and well, you’re not a big fan of change, and I just shut that door without even testing to see if it would open. I really appreciate you asking me this.”
She went on, and I felt an urging.
“And….this is really good timing. I’m pregnant.”
She was overcome with curiosity:
How did I feel about that? – Given that we planned it, I am giddy!
When’s the due date? – April 27th
Had I stopped my meds? Been taking my vitamins? – Yes, both before I even ovulated so I am good 
Also; Thanks, “Mom!”
She was thrilled – and in wonder said, “There’s a reason why this all came to me this morning, then.”
I teared up, knowing the conversation I’d had with God just a few hours before, smiled and said, “Absolutely.”
I am just glad that I responded appropriately to her e-mail yesterday and not with the hormonal tit-for-tat and paranoid conclusions I’d jumped to last night.
We have a lot to ponder, too. Health care costs would hike for me if I went to PT since our family is covered on my policy. But, maybe Medishare is right for us now, for them, and I can stay with the City’s coverage until after the baby?
We’ll figure it out, with God’s help – in the meantime, your prayers would be greatly appreciated!
© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved
Hoo boy, has this one been on my mind.
I’ve been pregnant and working before, and it was a lot different. I had my own office and my boss then was very hands-off. It was easy to keep my pregnancy under wraps until about 10 wks.
Now, The Boss and I share an office, we are very intwined in our work – meaning, it usually requires both of us – and we share personal stories all the time. She’s kind of like a big sister to me, in all the ways. Which means, if you read between the lines, that she can be a slightly neurotic PITA even though I love her dearly. Particularly when she thinks I’m going to be leaving her – which has happened a few times over the years. Also when she’s not happy with her own work life and I know this to be true.
I didn’t want to tell her just yet, but my belly, along with the fact that she knows I’ve recently cut out caffeine, due to our frequent outings to the Coffee Tree, is going to help her put things together before I’m ready. Also, the million trips to the pisser yesterday.
So it leaves me with this quandary – do I tell her so soon (I’m 4 wks y’all!), or do I keep it from her and let her figure it out by the time I divulge the confirmation? Moreover – how can I break it gently to her that I will not be returning to work? And, that the baby is due in the latter half of our notorious grant season?
What do y’all think?
© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved
Ok, so this week was the week of awkward meeting moments.
Tuesday, The Boss’ boss asked The Boss and I if we were available for lunch that afternoon. The Boss and I both had the same reaction to this anomaly, “Why?” So of course we made ourselves available, expecting a hidden agenda somewhere. About half-way into the lunch, I determined their was no hidden agenda aimed at The Boss, but a newly created position at the City was talked about so much, and talked up at that, that I began to wonder if perhaps they wanted me to transfer into it. Then it was noted that it was FT, and I’m like, Even IF that’s what it was, Heather, it’s not what you want to do, it’s no less hours and just no…
Then The Boss tells her boss, “Well, Heather is NOT leaving us after all,” as she informed me, “I was so sure you’d have gotten it that I told her so that she’d be in the loop.”
So then I had to repeat my somewhat awkward spiel about how I HADN’T EVEN BEEN LOOKING, and I got a whim about cutting down to PT at the EXACT same time as the job had been announced, and that I’d been in a win-win situation because I love my current job at the City and would be happy to stay, but would have enjoyed the flexibility offered by the potential job also, so despite the initial shock, things work out for the best and I really would have been a winner either way. REALLY!
Wednesday, I was at a task-force wrap-up/update meeting for an anti-poverty initiative. As the task forces have all accomplished their tasks, and the work is now in the hands of the steering committee, the lead entity thought it would be nice to debrief all the task groups on what was going on. Well, the meeting convener was Potential Boss. Now, I knew that and REALLY am ok with the way things played out (see above) – no big deal, right?
I get to the meeting a few minutes early, and then Potential Boss walks in. I say hello and ask her how she’s been, and she’s all, “You’re still talking to me?” I laugh and tell her I am a big girl, that I am ok with it as it was a win-win for me, and assure her that I trusted her judgment and knew she’d picked the person who would best fit their needs. She, visibly uncomfortable, quickly changes the subject to the darned heat wave we’ve been stuck with these past 2 weeks. AWKWARD!
Last night I had two meetings back to back, one of which the Potential Boss’ Boss (aka the President of the organization) sits on. We were discussing the report that a consultant has been working on for this group and as the consultant kept referring to, “Heather helped us here…and here…and here” the President kept looking over at me with a concerned look trying to catch my eyes and communicate something to me (he’d come to the meeting late and thus had not had time to chit-chat prior to the mtg). I had to leave early to get to my next meeting, and he pointed his finger at me as I went to walk by him, pulled me aside and said, “Have you had a chance to talk with Potential Boss?”
“A little bit – it’s fine, I’m ok with it,” and he patted me on the back several times, all the while having this look of “I want to say more, but this is not the time or place.”
Charlie Brown thinks that they settled for someone instead of getting the person they really wanted, based on these exchanges, as well as the drivel I got when they told me they weren’t hiring me. Which is kind of bittersweet. On the one hand, it makes me feel good, but on the other I just want to scream, “Why? Why wouldn’t it have worked out – because I would have cost more money?” ’cause you know, you get what you pay for, just sayin’.
Last awkward moment….
At the last meeting, two women commented, “Oh you got your hair cut! It is so cute!” In reality, no I haven’t done a thing to my hair. But, I did have it in a headband with my bangs [that are growing out] pulled back, whereas normally I have my bangs swept to the side. They continued on, when I corrected them, telling them the difference. The City Councilperson then says, “Oh, is that why your forehead is so white then?” I begged pardon at the lack of tact, and the Councilperson continued, “I mean, because it hasn’t seen the sun in awhile?”
Oh please…..
No more meetings. Not for awhile.
© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved
Welp….
No dice on the job that was too-good-to-be-true.
I don’t know why – I didn’t ask why. I don’t really want to know why.
I just wonder what it was all supposed to mean – I mean, I wasn’t even looking for a different job; I love my job…mostly…there are times when I’m bored, and long for the community building parts of it that seem to have all but disappeared – the people part of it, because right now it feels monotonous and too paper worky. But I have a great Boss – quirky as all hell, but loveable and someone with whom I can swap “Tales from the White Trash Can,” as we have come to call them.
What is so frustrating is that it SEEMED like the ideal situation, it SEEMED like the lights were green all the way, and nowhere along the way did God hand me a roadsign telling me to U turn ASAP and just STAY PUT WHERE U ARE AT GIRL! Which is basically what I prayed for.
Naw….He made me conflict and contort my emotions such that I didn’t know what I wanted. Such the guy He is, making the woman do all the work, :smirk: I kid, I kid….
But after all that? I ran into the red light of rejection bay-bay. :insert screeching brakes sound here:
It’s dawned on me that I don’t necessarily need the additional time to be Super-Full-Time-Working-Part-Time-Grad-Schooling-Volunteering-
Involved-Parenting-Woman that this job might have given me (I say might, because after digesting the interview it sounds like they underestimated the time commitment for ALL that they are unloading onto this position), rather I need more of Him and less of me.
“I love you SO much, Daahr!”
© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved
It went well. It is hard to keep an interview from going too conversational when it is someone you know, though. But overall, it went well and there were some phrases scattered throughout the interview that made me think this is a go.
There is one more person to interview today, and the decision should be made by tomorrow, so now, I’m just waiting. Which, anyone who knows me knows is the crappy hand in this deal. I have been praying though and remain remarkably zen and calm about it. What will be will be.
They have added more hours to the position, so that it is 34 hours/wk rather than 24. I am kind of torn about this. They are 10 “soft” hours, meaning there are peaks and valleys of workload for the program that they’ve added (they won a contract with the county to administer a childcare assistance program) and they are “extremely flexible.” So….I’m wondering if those can be negotiated and I can do some telecommuting so that I am home more as originally planned? More hours means more money and less expensive benefits, so….thing is, even if it was full-time it is still more the job that I would rather have, so much more community building and initiative than what I do right now, and that is something to weigh. :sigh:
The Boss and The Potential Boss went out to coffee while I was on vacation, and The Boss is acting like I have the job in the bag – asking for tutorials on the computer software I use for grant mgt, ordering new office design stuff to “make it more private” between the two workspaces in our office, “because if a new person comes in, I just think I would like there to be more separation, you know?”
But then, she also thought I was going to leave her for an Exec Director job last year too. So she may be off?
What will be will be.
Will keep you updated.
© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved
